Finding Answers in Solitude

         Are you taking the time to listen to yourself?  When did we stop paying attention to our needs, our real needs and desires?  We are inundated with what we “should” do all the time but are we listening to ourselves and turning in for guidance instead of turning outside ourselves?  Getting feedback from friends, family and the internet can be helpful but shouldn’t be our only feedback.  Turn inward and listen to yourself.

Savor the solitude.  Many people are often searching to fill time with people and things and struggle being on their own.  Others lead very busy lives and would love a little solitude (I’m speaking to busy mom friends!!).  My challenge to all this month is to create and savor the solitude.  Welcome it as a gift.  I picture myself sitting on my yoga mat with my legs crossed and my palms turned up resting on my knees welcoming some moments of solitude.  I want to welcome it as a gift and not push it away or run from it.  When is the last time you spent time with yourself?  Just yourself??  Sit and breathe, see a movie, go out to eat, go on a walk, take a class, go on a trip, whatever!!  Spend time with yourself like you would with a friend.  It is valuable.  Embrace it and savor it.  When we are comfortable being in solitude we can then expect more in relationships because we don’t need them as much – if your life is complete with you then you will raise your standards when adding to your tribe.

In solitude you can listen and feel what you need.  There is a lot of chatter in life – from friends, from family, from social media – but in reality you know you.  You know what you need, trust your gut.  Don’t run from it or fill it.  Just sit.  Get comfortable.  Listen.  We live in a society that glorifies being busy and I feel that people fear what they will find within themselves if they slow down and listen.  Have confidence that you can manage the feelings that come along – loneliness, sadness, anger – who knows what will come up?!?  But listen and allow the process.  I think it’s the vulnerability that people run from.  Travelling alone is a major lesson in vulnerability and solitude.  I think it is so good for me to get away whether it’s for an hour or a little trip.  Being able to be vulnerable with yourself and allowing whatever emotions arise to arise.  I would encourage everyone to do this regularly for whatever amount of time is possible.  It should be part of your weekly routine.  It will look different for everyone.  I believe time in solitude is definitely needed before big decisions are made and when you notice you are too caught up in the hustle – sit in the solitude and just be.  Just sit and listen to what you need.